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Place Trading/Transcript
This is an episode transcript for Place Trading. Transcript (Scene opens at Bob and Larry's house, where Bob is running around in a panic.) Bob: Ah! I'm running out of time! Larry! The Air Corgi party is in three hours! Where are you?! You've gotta put away your comics! We got pies to cook, pillows to fluff, cheeses to slice! Larry! (While Bob is looking for Larry, camera pans out to show Larry on the ceiling while sitting in his bike.) Larry: (giggling) If I hide up here, maybe Bob can't find me and he'll do all the work. (Camera pans out to show Bob standing behind Larry.) Bob: Um, I see you. (Larry falls off the ceiling.) Bob: Come on! Time to get cleaning! (Larry is laying on the ground dizzily then gets up again.) Larry: Can't do it now! I have a super-important cycling appointment with myself. (Larry starts riding his bike around Bob.) Bob: Are you forgetting that you have to work at Pa's store this afternoon? Larry: Aw, snicklefritz! I forgot! I wish I could hire a butler to do this boring stuff! (Larry runs into the pile of socks as one sock lands on his face, which causes him to crash into the comics, the chairs, and the TV, making a big mess.) Larry: What did you do?! Bob: You did this! Now you have to clean up this mess too! Larry: Aw! I'll do it when I get back from Pa's! My life is so hard! (Larry throws a sock behind him. Scene switches to Larry riding his bike through town before riding up to Ichabeezer's mansion and stopping, where he sees Ichabeezer relaxing in a lawn chair while drinking lemonade, with several stacks of gold bars next to him, while Rooney is laying next to him.) Larry: Ichabeezer, with his mansion and his gold and his dog. He doesn't have to do boring work. If I had his life, my troubles would be over. Ichabeezer: Come on, Rooney. Wanna fetch gold bars? (Ichabeezer throws a gold bar for Rooney to fetch, the gold bar landing in front of a nearby tree, which Mayor Archibald pops out from behind.) Archibald: (gasps) Say, Ichabeezer, would you mind donating that gold bar to my re-election campaign? Ichabeezer: No! Get off my lawn! (Ichabeezer goes back inside his mansion.) Ichabeezer: The problem with being rich is that everyone bothers me all the time asking for free gold. (Ichabeezer looks out to see Larry riding his bike.) Ichabeezer: Larry. (mimicking Larry) "Look at me! I lollygag on my bike without a care in the world! Do-de-do-de-do! I'm the most annoying person in town and everyone loves me!" (laughs, groans) (Scene switches to outside Pa Grape's store, before cutting to inside as Madame Blueberry enters the store.) Larry: Welcome to Pa Grape's Store. Madame Blueberry: Well, thank you, Larry. Larry: (sighs) These long days are killing me. Pa, is my shift over yet? Pa: You started thirty seconds ago. Larry: Aw man! (Seconds later...) Larry: Is it over now? Pa: (sighs in frustration) Ichabeezer: Quite your yapping. Rooney needs three gallons of butterfly milk. Pa: Sorry, we still don't stock that. Ichabeezer: (groans) My life is so hard! Larry: Ha! Your life is hard? I couldn't goof around on my bike all day! Ichabeezer: And? Larry: And now I have to work here so I can get money to buy snacks. Ichabeezer: I would love to have your easy-squeezy-cheesy life, Larry! Larry: I'd trade places with you any day! Ichabeezer: Let's do it! Pa: Now, fellas, the Bible says we shouldn't covet our neighbor's- Ichabeezer: Cork it, Grape! What do you say, Cuke? You in? Larry: Yeah! Let's switch lives! (Scene switches to Ichabeezer and Larry exiting Pa Grape's store as music starts playing.) Ichabeezer: (singing) Oh, I can be Larry-er than Larry No one's Larry-er than me! Larry may be Larry, But it's quite extraordinary I'm very much More Larry-er than he! Larry: (singing) I'm Ichabeezer Better and Beezier There's no better Ichabeezer than me Though Ichabeezer is a geezer I'm Ichabeezer Beezier And easily more Beezier than he! Ichabeezer: (singing) I'm more Larry-er than Larry! Larry: (singing) I'm much more Beezier than he! Both: (singing) I'm the individual Who surpasses the original I'm better at bein' you Than bein' me I'm better at bein' you Than bein' me I'm better at bein' you Than bein' me! (Song ends after that. Scene switches to the inside of Ichabeezer's mansion, before Larry enters the mansion while doing multiple backflips. Larry becomes amazed when he sees Ichabeezer's segway.) Larry: Ooh! No way! An electro-scooter-dealio! This is gonna be the greatest! (Larry hops into the segway and starts riding it around the mansion.) Larry: Whee-hee! Whoo! Wah! Whoo-hoo! (Larry bumps into the suit of armor bust, which sends it flying, until it lands on Larry's head, obscuring his vision and causing him to swerve out of control. Scene switches to outside Ichabeezer's mansion as the mansion starts shaking and jumping repeatedly. Scene switches to back inside the mansion, where Larry is now tangled up in the spiral chandelier.) Larry: Nuts! I made a mess! Now I have to clean stuff instead of doing stuff! (Larry falls off the chandelier, then notices a room as he opens the door, becoming excited when he sees lots of gold bars in the room.) Larry: Wait, I'm rich! I'll hire a butler! (Scene switches to Ichabeezer entering Bob and Larry's house.) Ichabeezer: Ha-ha! Freedom! Time for a snack! (Scene switches to Ichabeezer exiting the kitchen while carrying a tray that has ice cream, a cookie, and some cheese on it.) Ichabeezer: (sighs) The life of a dim-witted snoozer. (Ichabeezer takes a bite of the ice cream, but spits it out in disgust.) Ichabeezer: (spitting) What is this? Sardine ice cream? No! Gross! Inedible! Wrong brand! Nasty! Never in a million years! At least nobody bothers me when asking for money! (Ichabeezer takes Larry's bike out of the closet, puts on the helmet, then starts riding the bike around the house.) Ichabeezer: This is paradise! (Ichabeezer is now riding the bike on the ceiling.) Ichabeezer: Whee! (Scene switches to back at Ichabeezer's mansion as the doorbell rings, so Larry goes to answer the door, revealing a carrot butler at the door.) Carrot Butler: Good day, sir. My name is Chauncy. How may I assist you? Larry: Hello, Chauncy. No need to assist me. Just clean up this mess. (Chauncy quickly zooms off and cleans up the mess in record time. When Chauncy is finished, Larry is surprised to see that the place is now spic and span.) Larry: Whoa! Great job, Chunky! Chauncy: Eh, Chauncy, sir. Larry: Um, I don't have any regular money. I just have these gold bars. (Larry gives a gold bar to Chauncy, who immediately becomes excited and starts bouncing around the room.) Chauncy: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo cookie! Yee-ha-ha! (Chauncy stops bouncing after that.) Chauncy: (clears throat) Thank you, sir. Are you hungry? Larry: I'm always hungry. You'll know when I'm stuffed. (Chauncy zooms off then comes back with a tray with a sandwich and a drink on it.) Chauncy: Perhaps a sardine sandwich with a warm glass of garlic nog. (Larry eats the sandwich and drinks the garlic nog.) Larry: Delicious! Hey, I wanna watch a bunch of cartoons! Chauncy: Of course, sir. Would you like to watch all of them at the same time, sir? Larry: (awed) It's beautiful! (Scene switches to Chauncy stacking a bunch of TV sets on top of each other in front of Larry. Larry then gets a call on his phone as he answers it.) Larry: Bob, you gotta come over here and watch cartoons! (Scene switches to show that Ichabeezer is actually the one who is calling Larry.) Ichabeezer: Cartoons? No, you only get golf channels, pal! (Scene switches to Larry looking very worried as he turns on the TV's, showing that each channel indeed shows nothing but golf, becoming increasingly flustered each time he changes the channel.) Larry: No! What am I supposed to watch with my friends?! Ichabeezer: You don't have friends! You're me! Larry: What? Ichabeezer: (over phone) No cartoons, and no friends! Larry: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Scene switches to Bob carrying some balloons.) Bob: Do-dee-dee-do-do-dee-do (Bob suddenly stops when he sees the pile of foodstuffs that are now outside of the house, before the TV also gets thrown out the window as well. The balloons that Bob has been carrying deflate after that. Bob enters the house while carrying the TV.) Bob: Ichabeezer? What are you doing?! Ichabeezer: Haven't you heard? I'm Larry now! (Bob puts the TV back on its stand before approaching Ichabeezer.) Bob: Okay, that makes no sense! Please don't throw our TV out the window! Ichabeezer: That one's broken. I'll buy us one of those golf-only TV's. Bob: Ichabeezer, this one is fine! Please, don't touch it! Ichabeezer: Fine! Rot your brain with that garbage! (sighs) What do you have to eat? Bob: You threw our food out the window! If you're supposed to be Larry now, you have to clean up the mess he made! We have company tonight! (Ichabeezer is surprised when he hears Bob mention about company coming.) Ichabeezer: Company? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Scene switches to back at Ichabeezer's mansion as the doorbell rings, before the door opens, revealing Junior, who peeks inside then comes in while pulling a wagon full of candy bars. Larry is happy when he sees Junior arrive.) Larry: Junior! My friend! Junior: Yeah, I'm just hear to see if Ichabeezer wanted to buy a candy bar for my baseball team? Larry: I'm Ichabeezer now! I'll take one! A gold bar for a candy bar! (Larry gives a gold bar to Junior, who becomes happy.) Junior: Whoa-ho-ho! Hey, wanna buy all of 'em? Larry: I'm not crazy, of course I do! (Scene switches to Junior's wagon now stacked with gold bars, while Larry has now bought all of the candy bars.) Junior: Wow! Thanks, Lar- Ichabeezer! (laughing) (Junior leaves while pulling the wagon full of gold bars with him. However, Larry become sad after that.) Larry: Wait! Please stay! I need company! (sighs) (Larry sadly paces the room, before approaching Chauncy, who is pushing a wheelbarrow full of gold bars.) Larry: Perfect, Saucy! I'll go buy more friends with that gold! Chauncy: Actually, this is mine, sir. I'm quitting, you see. You've paid me enough money to buy Canada, so I did. Larry: You bought Canada? Chauncy: Yes, sir. Larry: But, I thought we were friends. Chauncy: Sir, you paid me money to be your butler, not your friend. And now I'm rich, so I'm going to Canada. Catch you later, eh? (Chauncy leaves after that.) Larry: I sure am gonna miss good old what's-his-name. (Scene switches to Ichabeezer throwing all of Larry's comic books out the side wall of the house.) Ichabeezer: These comic books are worthless! (Ichabeezer throws another stack of comic books, which lands in front of a passing corn boy.) Corn Boy: (happily) Best day ever! Ichabeezer: Won't need these cans of sardines anymore either. (Ichabeezer also starts throwing the cans of sardines out the side wall as well.) Corn Boy: (Off-screen) Oh! Worst day ever! Bob: (Off-screen) Stop! (Bob approaches Ichabeezer again.) Ichabeezer: What's wrong? Did you want me to clean out the house or not? Bob: Ichabeezer! Ichabeezer: Ah-ba-ba-ba-ba! You mean Larry? Bob: You're not acting like Larry! You're throwing out his stuff! Ichabeezer: What's the big deal? I'll just buy more stuff. Bob: The real Larry doesn't have any money! In fact, the real Larry is supposed to go work at Pa Grape's store in... 15 minutes ago! Ichabeezer: Work?! Bob: If you're gonna be Larry, you have to go to work! Ichabeezer: Oh, this whole 'trading-with-Larry' thing is sounding more and more like a big rip-off! Bob: (sighs) (Scene switches to Larry coming into town while pushing a wheelbarrow full of gold bars.) Larry: Hey, town! I'm the new Ichabeezer, and I've got gold! If you need some, let's talk about it, friend. (The surrounding townsfolk are immediately attracted by Larry's offer as they quickly surround him.) Broccoli Woman: Can you pay for kitty's pedicure? Larry: You bet! Wanna play video games? Broccoli Woman: Some other time! Thank you! (The broccoli woman leaves after that, to Larry's surprise.) Carrot Man: I'm with the Society of People Who Want Free Stuff. Larry: Here you go, friend. Now, tell me a little about yourself so we can develop a friendship. (The carrot man leaves after that as well.) Larry: No one's very chatty today. It's almost like they care more about my gold than they do me. Female Pea: I wanna go to Clown College, or the moon! Larry: Clown College?! Here's a bar- (gasps as the female pea quickly snatches the gold bar away and leaves) (Larry looks in the wagon to see that there are no more gold bars left.) Larry: No gold bars left! Townspeople: (groaning) Larry: I'm all out of gold. Wanna go get some lunch or something? (There is no one there as a tumbleweed rolls past while the sound of a coyote howling is heard after that.) Larry: Huh. Rooney: (barking) Larry: Okay, Rooney. We'll go for a walk. (Larry puts the leash on Rooney, who jumps up and down in excitement, before running off, pulling Larry with him.) Larry: (yelling) (Scene switches to Pa Grape's store as Corn Woman enters the store before Ichabeezer approaches her.) Ichabeezer: Hello, I'm Larry. Welcome to Pa's mostly-horrible store. Can I help you find something overpriced? Corn Woman: (offended) Oh! (Corn Woman leaves in a huff after that.) Ichabeezer: Good choice. (A carrot man enters the store after that as well.) Ichabeezer: Hello, what sort of rip-offs are you looking for? (The carrot man angrily leaves the store as well. Pa angrily comes up to Ichabeezer.) Pa: You can't talk to my customers like that! Larry is friendly and smiley! Ichabeezer: Gross! Why does he do that? Pa: Because he loves people! Ichabeezer: Good luck with that! (Larry is suddenly pulled into the store by Rooney.) Larry: Whoa! (Larry crashes onto the stack of sardines after that, as Rooney licks him, before being approached by Ichabeezer.) Larry: Haven't you two learned not to covet each other's lives yet? Ichabeezer: Larry, you clean up this mess right now! Pa: Actually, Larry is a customer and you're an employee. Ichabeezer: Don't tell me. Pa: Clean it up! (Pa gives the broom to Ichabeezer. This time, Ichabeezer has had enough.) Ichabeezer: I don't wanna be Larry anymore! I quit! Larry: Does this mean I get to be me again? Ichabeezer: I never wanna be anyone else again. I'm thankful for what I've got. Larry: Uh, about what you got. Um, I spent all your gold. Sorry. Ichabeezer: That's nothing. I've got a whole lot more in a Swiss bank account. But still, Larry! (Larry runs off after that. Scene switches to Larry returning home, before becoming surprised?) Larry: Wh-wha? (Scene switches to show Bob, Junior, Madame Blueberry, Mr. Lunt, and Bacon Bill welcoming him home.) All: Welcome back, Larry! Larry: Par-tay! Bob: I missed you, Larry! Wait, you are Larry now, right? Larry: It's great to be home, friend! All: Hooray! (Everyone starts laughing, before a title card reading "The End" shows up, ending the episode.)Category:Transcripts Category:VeggieTales in the House transcripts Category:Finished Transcripts